http://youtu.be/Oju_lpqa6Ug?t=9m1s
The video above is
from a BBC Three series where a comedian takes a selection of morons (of
numerous persuasions, UFO, 7/7, 9/11 conspiracy freaks and the like) for a road
trip which attempts to conclusively prove that they believe in nonsense. This
particular clip (between around 9 and 11 minutes on the video) addresses the
downright bizarre creationist belief that the Grand Canyon was formed by a
single flood (the one with Noah and the over-encumbered ark). The topic isn’t
really relevant; it’s just an example of a perfectly logical argument being
entirely unsuccessful in spite of its simplicity, clarity and the overwhelming
supporting evidence.
To show the group why the
canyon’s Horseshoe Bend couldn’t have been formed by one flood, he gets a
bucket of water and lets the main proponent of this idea pour it across some
sand. The “flood” water carves into the sand, creating a deep, straight “canyon”
and sending water (as you might have imagined) directly away from the source.
The bend in the canyon is literally “U” shaped, so the group is left explaining
how god decided to just change the laws of nature that one time.
In situations like this,
I’m always left feeling sorry for the rational person desperately trying to
show the particular blockhead why they’re wrong. They’re stuck arguing with
somebody intent of pissing directly into the fierce wind of common sense and supporting
evidence. Try as they may – piling evidence on top of evidence and debunking on
top of debunking – the person on the other end absolutely refuses to accept
that they must be wrong.
There is very little
that can be done because evidence, logic and reality don’t matter to most
people who believe in nonsense. There are some rational people who hold silly
beliefs, but when you conclusively prove them wrong they change their minds.
They might put up an argument for a while, but they eventually realise they’re
wrong. When this isn’t happening, you’re left either repeating yourself or
finding a way to bring the debate to an end before you lose all hope for
humanity.
I have a new
suggestion for people who find themselves in situations like this. Simply act
like a bit of a dick. My personal favourite is the over-emphasised
“DUUUHHHRRR,” with the tongue pushing the lower lip out and your wrists bent
unnaturally – just like in school playgrounds all across the country. It isn’t
constructive and it isn’t helpful; it’s just funny.
I envision a
crack-team of scientists with sarcasm running through their veins, cutting
through bullshit with a joyous chorus of downright insulting noises and
childish jokes. Anybody who believes in ghosts would be dealt with as if they thought
the earth is flat and people who visit psychics and mediums would be mocked as
if they were trying to cure brain cancer using snake oil and a rigorous
schedule of Dr. Kawashima’s Brain Training.
Brian Cox is a good real-world
example. After offending some astrologers by saying the practice was “nonsense,” he went on to clarify: “I
apologise to the astrology community for not making myself clear. I should have
said that this New Age drivel is undermining the very fabric of our
civilization.” Much more grown up than my suggestion, I’ll admit, but the
principle is the same: after conclusively proving that the person is ignoring
any arguments or pieces of evidence which run contrary to their opinions, the
situation is ripe for silliness, insults and mockery.
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